Hey guys, I thought I would just jot a little something down tonight and reflect on the day.
So, I received good fertility news from not one but TWO friends today! It is just a friendly reminder that God is not finished in our lives. One of my friends... Man does she deserve the best! I love her to pieces and she will always have a part of my heart. She has had such a journey! I used to negotiate with God all the time about her. I used to pray so hard that if I can't get pregnant then that's ok, give it to her! She deserves it! Besides holding my own child, there is nothing in this world that would make me happier than to see her give birth to an amazing little one. I can't say enough about her or her husband. Every time we think she's pregnant I just cry like a baby. I want her to get pregnant so much it hurts.
I have no idea what Gods plan is but I am not going to lie, I feel a little bitter tonight. I think about my friend and I don't understand why she keeps having the same outcome. Even with changing meds and scenarios, its always the same. I don't understand! I know 98% of the time I am so positive but then there's nights like tonight when I get pissed! I get mad and disappointed and just want to be alone. Tonight we went to my husbands company boo bash and and i can't help but to think we would've had a newborn there and would have been dressing our baby in its first halloween costume tonight.
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| Our Big boy, 7yrs old... Tonight at the boo bash |
The funny part is I didn't even think about it at the event, i thought about it after. I came home and was cleaning with Christmas music playing, then I watched a few Christmas movies... Ya know, it's the music every time that gets me! haha The sweet soft melodies... it just turns you into mush!
But back to the positive... She got good news today! Please, PLEASE pray for her! Pray for her follicles and her lining and that those babies stick!!! Pray for her heart and feelings. Pray for a healthy pregnancy. And if God is feeling super generous Pray for TWINS! Myself on the other hand, dont pray for that for me! haha She's been through so much I dont think she will ever put herself through this again if she had a baby and she's always wanted two so heck, lets pray for that.
In Matthew 14:13-21, he feeds 5,000 men, not counting women and children, which might have placed the number at 10,000, maybe more. He has only 5 loaves and 2 fish (7 total), after which, his Disciples collect 12 basketfuls of uneaten leftovers (12).
So let me just say, If my God can do that, He can give my friend some babies!
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